For Chrissie
Day 17 of Nanowrimo (challenge: use ""Ok, ok, don't get upset. It's just a little broken."):
“Jon’s kisses are tiny, like little pecks. But Danny’s kisses… well, they’re the kisses you feel down in your toes.”
“Ah, the infamous toe kiss. I seem to recall having one or two of those myself. Toe kisses are worth breaking up over.”
“Believe me, I would have, if Danny would have deigned to date me. But Danny’s not really the dating type. So I just conveniently forgot about the whole thing and stuck with Jon.”
“Until Jon was outside the window and heard everything you had to say,” I added helpfully. I spread the applesauce in a thin layer and waited a moment until Delores brought over a small plastic tub of sour cream. I think layered the sour cream on top of the applesauce, took my fork, and cut off a huge bite. I had to maneuver with my mouth to get it all in.
“Exactly!! So you can see how this might have, sort of, kind of created a little bit of a mess for me. Jon won’t even let me explain. He’s just refused to speak with me since that morning.”
I looked at my plate trying to figure out what to eat next. I had to have the perfect ratio of potato pancake to corned beef sandwich to coleslaw.
“Oh God, you’re doing it again,” Jocelyn said, a disgusted look on her face.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, taking a nibble from my sandwich before spooning up a mound of coleslaw.
“That thing. That thing you do with the food. Why can’t you just eat like a normal person? You eat the sandwich. Lots of bites of the sandwich. Take a break. Then have some coleslaw. Or the potato pancake. It doesn’t have to all be in an nice neat one-two-three order.”
“Easy for you say,” I mumbled as I stuffed a piece of potato pancake in my mouth, one with the perfect proportion of applesauce to sour cream. “If I don’t eat it just right, this table will burst into flames and we’ll die a terrible and cruel death and it’ll all be my fault.”
Jocelyn stared at me a moment. “Have you thought of having the OCD medicated?”
“It’s not OCD,” I said, as I moved on to the slaw. “And it’s how I make earn my livelihood.”
Slurping her soup, Jocelyn said, “Listen. It’s my life that’s broken.” Her voice went up a couple of octaves and took on the quivering tone it always did when she was about to break into tears. “Fix it!!”
“Ok, ok,” I said, eyeing the pickles in the bucket. How should I fit them into this delicate dinner arrangement? “Don't get upset. It's just a little broken. We can make this all better.”
“How?” Jocelyn asked.
“Well, for starters, tell me do you actually want to get back with Jon?”
“We are so the perfect couple,” she told me.
“Yes, but that didn’t answer my question.”
She sighed and picked at her matzoh ball with her spoon. “Well, as I said, he does kind of peck with his kisses.”
“So then go for Danny.”
“Danny is totally unattainable.”
“Nobody is totally unattainable. After all, you attained him once.”
“Jon’s kisses are tiny, like little pecks. But Danny’s kisses… well, they’re the kisses you feel down in your toes.”
“Ah, the infamous toe kiss. I seem to recall having one or two of those myself. Toe kisses are worth breaking up over.”
“Believe me, I would have, if Danny would have deigned to date me. But Danny’s not really the dating type. So I just conveniently forgot about the whole thing and stuck with Jon.”
“Until Jon was outside the window and heard everything you had to say,” I added helpfully. I spread the applesauce in a thin layer and waited a moment until Delores brought over a small plastic tub of sour cream. I think layered the sour cream on top of the applesauce, took my fork, and cut off a huge bite. I had to maneuver with my mouth to get it all in.
“Exactly!! So you can see how this might have, sort of, kind of created a little bit of a mess for me. Jon won’t even let me explain. He’s just refused to speak with me since that morning.”
I looked at my plate trying to figure out what to eat next. I had to have the perfect ratio of potato pancake to corned beef sandwich to coleslaw.
“Oh God, you’re doing it again,” Jocelyn said, a disgusted look on her face.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, taking a nibble from my sandwich before spooning up a mound of coleslaw.
“That thing. That thing you do with the food. Why can’t you just eat like a normal person? You eat the sandwich. Lots of bites of the sandwich. Take a break. Then have some coleslaw. Or the potato pancake. It doesn’t have to all be in an nice neat one-two-three order.”
“Easy for you say,” I mumbled as I stuffed a piece of potato pancake in my mouth, one with the perfect proportion of applesauce to sour cream. “If I don’t eat it just right, this table will burst into flames and we’ll die a terrible and cruel death and it’ll all be my fault.”
Jocelyn stared at me a moment. “Have you thought of having the OCD medicated?”
“It’s not OCD,” I said, as I moved on to the slaw. “And it’s how I make earn my livelihood.”
Slurping her soup, Jocelyn said, “Listen. It’s my life that’s broken.” Her voice went up a couple of octaves and took on the quivering tone it always did when she was about to break into tears. “Fix it!!”
“Ok, ok,” I said, eyeing the pickles in the bucket. How should I fit them into this delicate dinner arrangement? “Don't get upset. It's just a little broken. We can make this all better.”
“How?” Jocelyn asked.
“Well, for starters, tell me do you actually want to get back with Jon?”
“We are so the perfect couple,” she told me.
“Yes, but that didn’t answer my question.”
She sighed and picked at her matzoh ball with her spoon. “Well, as I said, he does kind of peck with his kisses.”
“So then go for Danny.”
“Danny is totally unattainable.”
“Nobody is totally unattainable. After all, you attained him once.”
Labels: nanowrimo
3 Comments:
Wow, I'm published! This writing things is cake, huh? (Yeah, right.) Keep up the hard work & great writing.
I think Jocelyn should run for the hills. The choice is btwn a peckery-kisser and an unattainable on? Hills. Now.
You, of course, are totally right. However I've moved back into Lisa's life so this hasn't really resurfaced yet. Also, Miami has no hills. Maybe she could head for the Everglades. :-)
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