Saturday, October 6

This morning, on my run, I became plagued by the "what ifs." The first two laps were great--I ran with the gang and the chit chat kept me from thinking too much. But I was the only one game for that third lap, and my thoughts kept drifting back to what if I had gone back to grad school? Did I make a huge mistake? And of course, the answer is no, I didn't make a mistake, because in the words of Chico Escuela, Amazon.com has been berry berry good to me. This is avoiding the big obvious that if I had gone to grad school, I wouldn't be getting married to Adam next April, and that of course is worth it. But the mind is fickle and I play back the choices I made that first week when I was at Amazon, working as a copy editor, and I got my acceptance from the Jackson Institute at the University of Washington to study Middle Eastern studies. At the time, that was a little strange. But now, well, now, Middle Eastern students are in high demand, and if I had gone and followed my plan of study--Islam, Arabic, Jewish studies--I'd have a much more interesting career right now. Somehow, managing a team of editors and getting content up on a retail site feels a little insignificant compared to the work I could have been doing. Writing e-mails to buyers or translating Arabic documents for the government? Approving co-op placements or working for the State Department for the office of counterterrorism? Creating bargain boutiques or working in an embassy in an Arabic country? Which do you think would be more fullfilling?

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