Interview with a Four Year Old

Me: What's today?
Pie: My birthday!
Me: How old are you?
Pie: Four.
Me: That's pretty old. What can you do when you're four that you can't do when you're three.
Pie: I can stay up late.
Me: What else?
Pie: I can play.
Me: You couldn't do that when you were three?
Pie: I could! What couldn't I do when I was three? I couldn't go into kindergarten.
Me: Can you go in now that you're four?
Pie: No.
Me: What did you do today?
Pie: I went to gymnastics camp. I had lots of fun. I even got to be leader and sometimes I could be first. That's all.
Me: We didn't do anything after camp?
Pie: Went to the Res! And that's all.
Me: What's your favorite thing to do?
Pie: To play my Polly Pockets.
Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Pie: A mommy.
Me: Anything else you want to be?
Pie: That's all I want to be.
Me: Are you going to be a mommy who works?
Pie: Yeah. But I work out of the house.
Me: What kind of work will you do?
Pie: Housework.
Me: Outside of the house?
Pie: Inside the house.
Me: What work will you do outside of the house?
Pie: I will plant the garden. And water stuff. I can water dirt.
Me: Who's gonna make the money?
Pie: I will.
Me: How?
Pie: How will I make money is I'll find a money thing and then I'm going to call someone and ask if it's money and then I'll try getting it and then I'll get some money out of the printer. And that's all.
Me: You're all done with the interview?
Pie: Uh huh. Can you read me last year's one?
Me: Any grand pronouncements first?
Pie: What?
Me: Any big statements?
Pie: I want to be the biggest one in the whole universe of America.
Me: Happy Birthday, Sweetie Pie.