Goodnight to Goodnight Moon

I have issues with a lot of children's books. Every time I read Guess How Much I Love You to Doodles, I find myself editing as I go. How can a children's book ignore basic English grammar? Why not teach Doodles proper English the first time around?

"I love you as high as I can hop!" laughed Little Nutbrown Hare.
"But I love you as high as I can hop," smiled Big Nutbrown Hare.

Dialogue is spoken. It isn't laughed, smiled, sighed, or anything else that isn't actually, well, spoken! So I find myself saying, "said Little Nutbrown Hare with a laugh" and "replied Big Nutbrown Hare with a smile." I'm waiting for the day when Doodles has the book memorized and someone else reads it to him. Two year olds can comprehend the nuances reporting verbs, right? So why don't I just read him a book that understands the basic tenets of English grammar? Because I love the moral of this story. At the heart of Guess How Much I Love You is a very important message: The parent always gets the last word! It's a beautiful thing to teach a young child. (Note to my own parents: This does not apply to you because you never read me this book.)

While looking up Goodnight Moon for the previous post (and I'm never sure how to refer to my posts; I mean, it's previous because I wrote it first. Blogger, however, displays things in reverse chronology, so if you're reading down, it's the following post. Ah, whatever), I discovered some terrific customer reviews. Now, granted, I'm not a huge fan of this book. I object to the rhyming of "moon" with--surprise!--"moon." People, you can't do that! However, the book is part of our bedtime routine because it's such a nice segue to sleepy time and it gives lots of fodder for discussion ("See the cow jumping over the moon? What sound does a cow make? A cow says, 'Moo!'"). I also think it's a very accessible book for wee folk as there's not much to follow and the repetition is soothing. However, I have to agree with some of the reviews I found on Amazon:

I would never dare to say any of this if I were running for office, but .....I was given Goodnight Moon by a well-meaning enthusiast who felt I could be no parent or claim to know children's literature unless I owned the book. Sure, Goodnight Moon is popular; it's had staying power. But the same could be said for pork rinds and "The Dukes of Hazzard." Goodnight Moon is a tired catalogue of meaningless objects, to each one of which I used to say "goodnight" three or four times a week. My kid has it memorized, but she can also recognize a Home Depot sign, so that's a wash....

Goodnight room, goodnight moon. Perhaps a cry for help from some tortured soul, or perhaps a yearning for an apocalyptic solution to existence. Maybe it is none of these things, but images of a green room suggest an allegory of the American Democratic System (playing off of the asian themes of Red, Blue, and Green energy) and the eventual transfer of power to the people (or in this case, the rabbits). But all things come from the earth, and to the earth they shall one day return; if anything, Goodnight Moon reminds us of our mortality and search for self. And that is the greatest gift of all.

Of course, the thing I object most to in children's books are the celeb books. I picked up Jay Leno's If Roast Beef Could Fly in the bookstore, and very quickly put it back down. It was the most inane children's story I think I've ever read. As reported by USA Today: "The problem with children's books, comic Jay Leno says, is that they just aren't funny. 'They all look like Laura Ashley illustrations with one word and a boring moral at the end'" Let's look at the problems with this statement:

1. Jay Leno's book isn't funny. Nada. Not even a little bit.
2. The illustrations are horrendous and frightening (a child with that chin?).
3. Yes, you can certainly make this generalization about the thousands and thousands of children's books published every year. None of them are funny and they all have horrendous illustrations.

Get over yourself, Jay. And I think that about exhausts the topic of children's books for one night.

(Tangent: Speaking of Amazon reviews, there's something so great about the relationship of Amazon customers and Family Circus. Every review a keeper here!)