Buoyancy

As Brown Brown still hasn't turned and I'm becoming increasingly more desperate as his ever-growing noggin expands into the ever-decreasing room formerly known as my chest and now known as that friggin' parasite's cocoon (the term parasite left us for a while, huh? Well, it's baaaack!), I'm trying all the techniques I can find to get him to assume the position. I'm spending a lot of time hanging out in the living room on my hands and knees and rubbing my belly. I've tried talking to him--both in nice soothing tones and in that "I'm counting to three" tone.

Well, as long as I have my weekly swim, I figured I'd try the handstand technique. I felt like an idiot, because it's a normal lap swim, which means you aren't supposed to be goofing around. All around me, people are doing their rapid laps while I do my leisurely swim (I do nothing non-leisurely anymore. The only thing that has me moving quickly these days is my bladder), so between laps, I furtively try to sneak in some handstands. Have you ever tried to do a handstand when you are at your most floaty? Impossible I tell you! I could do two for maybe .35 seconds each before I'd float one way or another. So I quickly gave that up. Besides, it sounds like a stupid idea anyway. Wouldn't that just have the baby turning in the wrong direction? I don't get it.