Freedom

Don't get me wrong--I'm very grateful that I'm able to get freelance work so easily. It's a great help now (as our crib finally is orderable, and order it I did, and I need to earn something to fuel this Pottery Barn Kids obsession I seem to have), and it's going to be a great relief when I'm not working in an office every day. However, there's nothing quite so blissful as that feeling of turning in my last assignment and knowing I'm happily freelance work free for the next bit. I can do as I like after work and enjoy the weekend without a project hanging over my head (or three projects, as the case may be--this past week I turned in a 538-page copyedit job, a book review for a 576-page book [which was a fabulous book, I might add], and an author Q&A). I've been working on these jobs for the past three weeks, so every night and morning has been focused on work. I have such a long to-do list (including e-mailing almost everyone I know back--I owe the world an e-mail) and it keeps getting longer. This weekend, though, it's all about the baby (I know, I know. You thought it was always all about the baby. Well, this weekend especially). Childbirth classes. Two whopping full days of them. From 10 to 5 tomorrow and 10:30 to 4:30 on Sunday. I'm a little scared by what I'll learn. I've been watching videos on Baby Center and I'm terrified. Right now Brown Brown doesn't seem to be wanting to get into position, so I watched the video on how they do the external version and then--just in case--how a C-section is done. For the C-section video, there's a choice between "a live surgery" or "illustrated guide." Knowing my low tolerance I went for the illustrated guide and still felt a bit sick to my stomach (arg, just thinking about the incision and how they separate the abdominal muscles is making my stomach churn! Or is that just the baby moving about? Hard to tell). But I'm hoping the classes will put an end to my obvious anxiety dreams (last night I dreamt that--no joke--Adam and I accidentally turned the babies [yes, there were two of them in the dream] into bookmarks. Bookmarks!!!) by making me feel a little more prepared.

One thing that I have decided is that my social engagements from here on out are going to be dwindling. I'm just simply not as mobile as I once was. Anyone who wants to hang out at our house is more than welcome, but no events that require my being more than fifteen feet from a bathroom and nothing that involves my walking more than about fifty yards. I called the Tweedle Twirp yesterday as I was on a work errand, and I was complaining about my waddle and my sausage feet and that yet another pair of shoes doesn't fit me anymore. She said, "Well, you're learning a valuable lesson. You don't ever want to get extremely fat." Um, gee thanks. You know, I'd say there are a lot of lessons that it would be important for me to learn, but I think I figured that one out all by myself a while ago. It's true that every errand I now run takes twice a long, but in fairness to me, that's not just because I'm slower; it's because it takes that long to listen to all the advice everyone (especially strangers) now wants to give me (yesterday's advice was don't bother getting a changing pad for the top of the dresser; just change the baby on the floor and even if I think I'm ready for a baby, I'm really not, because I have no idea what I'm in for. Thanks, guys!).

Okay, I'm going to waddle off for my lunch time Jamba Juice. Mmmm, Orange-A-Peel smoothie!!