I Married a Girl

Let's count how many things are wrong with the following sentence that Adam uttered on Monday night (I'm not making this up, I swear): "When I was looking at the book What Not to Wear [that's one], it said that a person shaped liked you [that's two] shouldn't wear a shirt like that [that's three]. Because you have, you know, bigger arms [four]. Not that your arms are big. They aren't. They're just bigger [and that would be five]."