Negative Options

I got a letter from Citicards saying my card was being upgraded to whatever it is they upgrade you to. I wasn't to do anything; they'll just send me my new card. However, it required getting a new account, which I didn't want to do. So I called to decline the new card.

"That's fine," the customer service rep said, "but this card has a negative option, meaning if you don't take the new card, we'll close your account when your card expires."

"Okay," I said.

The rep seemed surprised. "You understand that we'll cancel your account?"

"I understand that," I said.

"If you don't accept the new card," she repeated, "when you're card expires, your account will be closed."

"That's fine," I said.

"May I ask why?"

"My card doesn't expire for another two years. So I can keep my account number for two years. And if you really think that within the next two years, Citibank isn't going to send me at least 110 offers to upgrade/change/modify my account, then you haven't been working for Citibank for very long. Like Citibank is going to let a customer escape."

Negative option my... Well, I was going to write "my a*ss," but I'm trying to clean things up for the wee one, so I'll just write, Negative option, my tushie. These companies and their little machinations are just annoying.