Wednesday, September 7

Deja Vu All Over Again

I'm back to where I was not quite two years ago--forced to blog with a sleeping child on my lap. Sweetie Pie and I are in the nurse-fall asleep-transfer to crib-wake up-nurse-fall asleep... You get the idea. Sweetie Pie is definitely her brother's sister.

I'm torn about what to write. I have quite a number of friends who are pregnant and expecting their second children right about when their first kids turn two. So while part of me wants to be as honest as I can, I don't want to frighten my friends. Because I have to say, having two kids, well, no way around it. It's scary!

Having two kids makes me wonder, what the hell was I complaining about when I had just one baby!?! Today, for example, Doodles is at day care and Adam is at work, and things are quiet and easy. But when both Doodles and Sweetie Pie are home...watch out! Doodles is a little too enthusiastic about Sweetie Pie. "Cuddle Sweetie Pie!! Hug Sweetie Pie!!" as he tries to climb up to wherever we're sitting, elbowing me in my incision or engorged br*easts on the way. Remember when you had one child and you could leave the child in his play gym? Not so with the second child. Because that first child has the play gym turned upside down over his head as he tries to yank all the toys off. Or you could plop the baby down on a blanket for a little tummy time or just to hang out with a change of scenery? Not so when the older child is getting on his chair and seeing how far he can go as he yells, "Jump!" Remember when your baby was hungry and you fed him? Not so when the older child is throwing a full-fledged temper tantrum on the middle of the living room floor because he's refusing to take his nap. Remember how when your baby kept you up all night because he was nursing in one-hour blocks, you'd sleep in the next morning? Not so when your husband needs to go to the bathroom so your older child takes it as a sign to make a break for it and run into your bedroom shouting, "CUDDLE BABY SWEETIE! CUDDLE BABY SWEETIE!" as he scales your bed.

Doodles is learning a lot. Right now we're working on the concept of indoor voice. During the day, he can shout to his heart's content--we want Sweetie Pie to be able to sleep through anything as Doodles does. But when he does barrel into our room in the morning, he has to keep his voice down. Not working so well. "Doodles," we say in a hushed voice, "do you know how to whisper?" "YEAH!! WHISPER!" he shouts.

My primary concern about Doodles is that he's become incredibly attached to Adam. Which is great, except that Adam is going to go back to work full time soon (right now he's only going in when Doodles is in day care), and I'm worried how Doodles will react. Mommy is still good for cuddling and book time, but it's all about Daddy the rest of the time. Because of the c-section, which means I'm not supposed to pick up Doodles (yeah, right!), and because Sweetie is not yet on a bottle (I've started pumping, though), we've pretty much had to take a divide-and-conquer approach, so Adam is solely responsible for Doodles and I'm solely responsible for Sweetie Pie. Now when Doodles wakes up at night, he calls for "Daddy." When he wants to go outside, it's all "Daddy." When it's time for rough play, it's "Daddy." (Although, happily, "Mommy" is still the one who kisses boo-boos.)

However, there have been some good aspects to this too. For instance, a couple of days ago, Adam was, um, taking care of business, and Doodles said, "Doodles potty." Sure enough, he took off his shorts, undid his diaper, and peed in his potty! We're not going to push it--I'm not actually planning on potty training until next summer--but he's gone three times already in his potty. The only thing we haven't figured out is how to teach him to point himself downward. Right now he's only half got it and he's peeing all over his hand.

I'm not quite capturing the nuances of having a two year old and a newborn. It's hard to put into words the exhaustion of dealing with two kids, but it's very different than the first time around. In some ways, it's better because I definitely have more confidence as a mom. And I know that the rough part will be over before I know it. But damn, it ain't easy!!

1 Comments:

Blogger RUbirdie said...

Reading that was like Deja Vu for me. Except, mayyyybe, it might have been a bit easier for me because Sydni was a month shy of three and was a little more independant. She was a huge help (still is) once she got over her jealous phase.
At least Doodles is loving and interested in his baby sister.

12:10 PM  

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