You Can't Get Thar from Here
I've been f*cking with Louise. I just can't help myself. I don't know if it's the snooty British accent or just her absolute certainty but I dig messing with Louise's mind.
Which would be logical if Louise had a mind. But really, if I say I'm f*cking with a computer chip, then I'm the one who sounds like a moron.
Adam bought a GPS. And we used it on our trip. Only for some reason, Adam's GPS has the voice of a British woman named Louise. Sometimes Louise knows what she's talking about, like when we were supposed to meet friends for dinner in New Hampshire, only a car accident prevented us from going the way our Google Map told us. Then she navigated us quickly and clearly via another route. But on our way home, she seemed to think our house is on a different block and had we not known better, we would have been unpacking in some stranger's living room.
I like to purposely go in a different direction from what Louise orders. I know this speaks buckets about me and my personality, but I'm not going to even touch that. When Louise says, "Go right," I can't help but turn left. The entire drive home, I had Louise on for the sole purpose of not doing what she told me. I'd drive off her little map, and at first she would say, "In 200 yards, make a u-turn," but when I consistently ignored her, she'd have to recalculate her little map to accommodate my whims. Is that power or what?
What would have been really cool, though, is if when you went the wrong way, Louise called you on it in that clipped English voice. "Did you not hear me? I said take that last exit? You nincompoop! You've missed your turn again! Hey, idiot, are you listening to me?"
But she doesn't. She just eagerly complies. What a nincompoop.
Which would be logical if Louise had a mind. But really, if I say I'm f*cking with a computer chip, then I'm the one who sounds like a moron.
Adam bought a GPS. And we used it on our trip. Only for some reason, Adam's GPS has the voice of a British woman named Louise. Sometimes Louise knows what she's talking about, like when we were supposed to meet friends for dinner in New Hampshire, only a car accident prevented us from going the way our Google Map told us. Then she navigated us quickly and clearly via another route. But on our way home, she seemed to think our house is on a different block and had we not known better, we would have been unpacking in some stranger's living room.
I like to purposely go in a different direction from what Louise orders. I know this speaks buckets about me and my personality, but I'm not going to even touch that. When Louise says, "Go right," I can't help but turn left. The entire drive home, I had Louise on for the sole purpose of not doing what she told me. I'd drive off her little map, and at first she would say, "In 200 yards, make a u-turn," but when I consistently ignored her, she'd have to recalculate her little map to accommodate my whims. Is that power or what?
What would have been really cool, though, is if when you went the wrong way, Louise called you on it in that clipped English voice. "Did you not hear me? I said take that last exit? You nincompoop! You've missed your turn again! Hey, idiot, are you listening to me?"
But she doesn't. She just eagerly complies. What a nincompoop.
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