Out of the Mouths of Babes

I have a ton of work to do tonight and I haven't even had dinner, so my impulse was to skip blogging, but those two pieces of work have been too funny lately.

This afternoon, we were at the playground with Doodles's female friend, J. They were on the other side of the playground, and I saw Doodles start to pull at his pants. From across the way, I yelled, "No, no, no, no, no! Whatever it is you're doing, stop please!"

A few minutes later I was alone with Doodles.
Me: What were you doing with your pants?
Doodles: Pulling them off.
Me: Why?
Doodles: So I could show J. my p*enis.
Me: Why were you doing that?
Doodles: Because she asked to see it.
Me: Sweetie, if someone asks to see your p*enis, you just say, "No thank you."
Doodles: But I wanted to show it to her!
Me: Remember we talked about private parts? That's your private part.
Doodles: But why does it have to be private?
Me: Uhhhhh....

Tonight I took the kids to our local library where there was a showing of Singin' in the Rain. It went till past the kids' bedtimes, but I thought it would be a special treat. I didn't take into account that when the librarian turned on the TV, the loud static would startle Pie, causing her to go into such a tizzy that she had to be removed from the room. Luckily, Doodles's friend M. was there, so someone was there to watch him while I walked Pie as she sobbed, yelling, "Scary! Scary! Scary!" Even once the movie started, I couldn't get her to go back in (the mere sight of Gene Kelly's face would start the sobbing all over), so I called Adam to come pick her up. That turned out to be a mistake, as without her ming ming, the girl remained a sobbing mess until about five minutes ago (even with a late evening ming ming session upon my return home).

Anyway, Doodles was fairly enthralled, even in his exhaustion. There were lots of questions (including, "Mommy, why is it raining? Is he going to get in trouble for being in the street?") and comments. My favorite, though was during the scene in which Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor sing the song, "Moses." They tap dance throughout, and at one point, they leap up on a table to groove. Doodles leans over to M., and tells her in a concerned voice, "That's not safe!" When Kelly and O'Connor start dancing on the chairs, the whole room can hear Doodles stage whisper to M., "That's very dangerous." The two spent the rest of the movie critiquing the safety precautions of the actors.

Tap dancing: bad.
Genital exposing: good.
Mom banging head against wall: a now daily occurrence.