God Is in the Details...Among Other Places

As a family, we're very active in our local synagogue. The kids go to a Jewish preschool, I co-chair a regular kids' activity there, I'm studying myself for my b'nai mitzvah (better known to you goyim as my bat mitzvah--most kids have their bat or bar mitzvah when they're thirteen, but I never had one, so I'll be doing it when I'm forty. Of course, for all you Jews out there who want to be technical, yes, I was a bat mitzvah whether or not I read from the Torah at thirteen, but you know what I'm talking about).

But one of the things I've made no secret of is that I struggle with the concept of God. I partake and enjoy Judaism from an historical, intellectual, and cultural basis, but have a difficult time with the actual religious aspects. Doodles and Pie get a healthy dose of God at school, and I try to temper it with my own beliefs. At their school, they never say, "God did this." They say, "The Torah says that God did this." It's a subtle distinction but one I'm comfortable with, as it gives me a basis for discussion with Doodles (and eventually Pie). But yet, we still have these conversations like this:

Doodles: Why did God create sharks?
Me: Well, I know the Torah says God created sharks, but that's not what I believe. I believe in evolution. Remember we talked about evolution? I don't think God actually made sharks.
Doodles: Yes, he did. But why?

Then I had a conversation with another preschool mom the other day, during which she said to me, "So J. [her son] came home and said, 'God is a man.' My husband and I explained to him that God isn't really a man or a woman, but more of a spirit, in everything, blah blah, but J. said, 'No. God is a man. I know because Doodles told me he was.'"

So my budding theologist had me cornered in the car this week (all conversations seem to happen in the car where I have to tell him to yell so I can hear him clearly--damn big minivan!), and he hit me with this conversation:

Doodles: Is God made up?
Me: Well, different people believe different things. Some people think God is made up. And some people don't. Rabbi L. and S. [the preschool director] believe God is real. Peter [my father] doesn't. Peter thinks God is made up.
Doodles: So is he made up?
Me: Let me ask you, do you feel God in your heart?
Doodles: Yes.
Me: Then he's not made up. He's in your heart so he's real.
Doodles: Does Pie feel God in her heart?
Me: I don't know. Pie is a little young to express that kind of stuff. When she gets older, we can ask her. I know Daddy feels God in his heart.
Doodles: How do you know that?
Me: Daddy and I have talked about it before.
Doodles: Do you feel God in your heart?
Me: I feel something. Perhaps it's God. [hedging] I can sometimes feel God in my heart.
Doodles: So Rabbi L. and S. feel God in their hearts?
Me: Yes.
Doodles: But Peter doesn't feel God in his heart?
Me: Correct.
Doodles: So does Peter feel God in his neck?

For the record, Peter doesn't feel him in his neck, his armpits, or the back of his knees. I didn't ask what is in his pinky toe. Some things I just don't need to know.