I Choo-Choo-Choose You

A quick trip to the bookstore during lunch revealed a lovely display of Valentine's Day books. On a big table right in the front, there was a sign to the effect of "Presents for Your Valentine." And what are the hot books for lovers? Well, prominently placed were How to Dump a Guy (A Coward's Manual), Do You Love Me or Am I Just Paranoid: The Serial Monogamist's Guide to Love, How to Spot a Bastard by His Star Sign, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days: The Universal Don'ts of Dating (a book with a stick figure per page doing things such as asking a guy if she's fat, lying about missing a period, and calling his friends for relationship advice), and Dumped: An Anthology. Is it just me or does it seem the romance has gone out of dating? This is what passes for Valentine's Day? This should be on a table under a sign that reads "Bitter About Love." And while I'm here, let me say that it's moronic what gets published these days. There's Even God Is Single, So Stop Giving Me A Hard Time, a picture book of all the reasons (twenty-six to be exact) why single is good. Don't get me wrong, I like the concept. But a picture book? How about a web site instead. Or a comic book. And then there are Love Coupons, for those too inane to come up with their own nice things to do for their mates. Puh-lease! How hard is it to draw a pretty picture and write "Back rub on demand." And then there is a book--and hell if I can remember the name--that is verbatim--verbatim, I tell you--from an e-mail that went around years and years ago on what every woman should have/know by the time she's thirty. It was exactly the same as that e-mail! I've got a folder full of old e-mail forwards that I'd be happy to publish under my name. What is up with the publishing industry? Geez!