Wednesday, September 14

Dirty Words

There are those who believe the "f word" is the dirtiest word in the English language. Still others think it's the "c word." Other don't believe there is such a thing as a "dirty" word. Well, they're all wrong. There is a single word that is the nastiest word known to mankind, the word that strikes fear into all adult members of our household.

That word is... "other."

Yes, that's right. "Other." As in, "No, no, no! Other cereal bar!" when we have already laid out every cereal bar we have in the house in front of our tantruming toddler. "No, no, no! Other fish!" when really, we don't have that many kinds of fish in our house (either of the crunchy edible kind or the stuffed animal variety). Whatever it is our child has, he wants "other." Of course, we never seem to have whatever "other" he is looking for, which leads to a shower of "No no no no nos," which of course devolves into a meltdown.

Luckily for us, our child isn't yet the brightest bulb in the socket. I have learned a very magical trick that sometimes works. When I've gotten yogurt approval, for example, and opened and "swooshed" the yogurt for him, only to have him suddenly demand, "Other yogurt!" I quickly agree. I grab the yogurt off his placemat, bring it into the kitchen. I open and shut the fridge door, announce, "I'm getting a different yogurt! I'll swoosh it here for you!" stall a few seconds, and then bring out the very same yogurt, which will then, generally, be eaten.

This technique also works for the lesser nasty, but still dreaded, "more." Occasionally, after I've filled his plate with Veggie Booty, the child will demand, "More Veggie Booty." So right there, as he watches me, I take all the Veggie Booty off his plate and return it to the bag. When his plate is empty, I then repour the Booty out and say, "There! More Veggie Booty!" at which time he eats.

So if you come to visit our house, feel free to say what you'd like... however if we catch you uttering the "o word" or the "m word," we're gonna wash your mouth out with soap.

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