Sleep Talking
Let me start by saying this is the heavily abbreviated version of this story. It actually went on for well over an hour.
Anyway, last Saturday morning, I was tired. Pie was up at 5 a.m. and would only be appeased by the thing that only I can give her. I obliged at 5:20. I finished feeding her about 5:30 at which point Doodles awoke as well. I went downstairs with everyone, but by about 6ish, I asked Adam, "Would you mind terribly if I went back to bed? I'm exhausted."
"No problem," he replied.
So off I went back to bed. I snuggled under the covers and by about 6:15 a.m. I was happily back asleep...
...until 6:20 a.m. when this little body slowly opened the door to the bedroom, slowly closed the door, and scampered to the side of the bed until I pulled back the cover for him to slide back in. Wondering how in the heck he got upstairs--I'm guessing that Adam let him past the baby gate to use the train table, which is the toy of choice now, just outside our bedrooms or maybe the gate wasn't closed and he snuck upstairs and as far as Adam knew, he was playing quietly in the playroom.
So I wrap my arms around my munchkin and blissfully begin to drift off, when...
Doodles [in a very loud whisper]: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy!
Me: Mmm hmmm?
Doodles: It's still dark out, isn't it?
Me: Mmm hmmm.
Doodles: Why is it still dark out, Mommy?
Me: Because it's very early. The sun isn't up yet. Mommy is very tired and wants to sleep. If you want to sleep quietly next to me, you're welcome to stay.
So Doodles snuggles into me, and once again, I start to...
Doodles: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy! Mommy!
Me: I'm sleeping!
Doodles: Mommy! Mommy!
Me: Yes?
Doodles: Is today a school day?
Me: No. It's Saturday. Now go to sleep.
Ahhh. Nestle into the pillow. Deep breath and...
Doodles: Is today a work day?
Me: No. It's Saturday. It's a Mommy, Daddy, Doodles, Pie day. Now, I need to go back to sleep.
Doodles: Is today a school day?
Me: Didn't we cover that? No, it's not a school day. Good night, Doodles.
Doodles: What are we going to do today?
Me: Sweetie, go ask your daddy that question. I need to sleep. If you don't want to sleep, you can go downstairs or play with your train table.
Doodles's finger immediately goes into his mouth, and he curls himself into my body, and I do indeed fall back into slumber...
...for five minutes.
Doodles: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy!
[I ignore him]
Doodles: Mommy! Mommy, I'm talking to you!
Me: Doodles, I'm ignoring you! Where does your father think you are anyway?
Doodles: Is it still Hanukkah?
Me: No, Hanukkah is over.
Doodles: I want it do Hanukkah again.
Me: We'll do it again next year.
Doodles: I want to do Hanukkah now.
Me: Go to sleep, Doodles.
Doodles: Mommy, is it a school day?
Me: Arg! No, it's not!
Three minutes of silence. What's that? Has he fallen asleep?
Doodles: Mommy. Mommy!
Me: Grumph.
Doodles: Mommy, can I wear my new shoes to lunch bunch?
Me: You don't have lunch bunch till you go back to school in two weeks. But yes, you can wear your new shoes.
Doodles: S. has shoes like me.
Me: S. is sleeping right now. I'd like to be sleeping, too. Please either be quiet or go back downstairs. I'm very, very, very tired and I really need to sleep.
Doodles: Okay.
I don't even kid myself this time. I just close my eyes and pretend I'll all by my lonesome in a hotel somewhere--anywhere--far far away.
Doodles: Mommy. Mommy!
Me: WHAT!
Doodles: Mommy, is today a school day?
Silence. Can I sleep? Ah, but only if.
Doodles: I want some milk.
Me: Go downstairs and get some, then.
Bless his little heart, he actually listened to me and hopped out of bed and headed downstairs. Adam heard him and took that as his cue to come upstairs to get Pie dressed. He popped his head into my room.
Me: He snuck his way in here.
Adam: I know. I sent him in.
Me: You did what?!?!
Adam: He threw a tantrum. He wanted to go back to bed. So I sent him to you. What was I supposed to do?
Excuse me??. "What was I supposed to do?" Let me think about all the possibilities here. There's "Sorry, your mom is sleeping." There's "Sorry, we don't negotiate with terrorists." There's "Sorry, but I can't hear anything you're saying when you're screaming." So many things! I couldn't believe that Adam willingly and knowingly sent that child to me. "What was I supposed to do?" I can't freakin' wait till the next time Doodles says to me, "But I really want to use Daddy's computer!" Let's see how well the "What was I supposed to do" line flies then!
Anyway, last Saturday morning, I was tired. Pie was up at 5 a.m. and would only be appeased by the thing that only I can give her. I obliged at 5:20. I finished feeding her about 5:30 at which point Doodles awoke as well. I went downstairs with everyone, but by about 6ish, I asked Adam, "Would you mind terribly if I went back to bed? I'm exhausted."
"No problem," he replied.
So off I went back to bed. I snuggled under the covers and by about 6:15 a.m. I was happily back asleep...
...until 6:20 a.m. when this little body slowly opened the door to the bedroom, slowly closed the door, and scampered to the side of the bed until I pulled back the cover for him to slide back in. Wondering how in the heck he got upstairs--I'm guessing that Adam let him past the baby gate to use the train table, which is the toy of choice now, just outside our bedrooms or maybe the gate wasn't closed and he snuck upstairs and as far as Adam knew, he was playing quietly in the playroom.
So I wrap my arms around my munchkin and blissfully begin to drift off, when...
Doodles [in a very loud whisper]: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy!
Me: Mmm hmmm?
Doodles: It's still dark out, isn't it?
Me: Mmm hmmm.
Doodles: Why is it still dark out, Mommy?
Me: Because it's very early. The sun isn't up yet. Mommy is very tired and wants to sleep. If you want to sleep quietly next to me, you're welcome to stay.
So Doodles snuggles into me, and once again, I start to...
Doodles: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy! Mommy!
Me: I'm sleeping!
Doodles: Mommy! Mommy!
Me: Yes?
Doodles: Is today a school day?
Me: No. It's Saturday. Now go to sleep.
Ahhh. Nestle into the pillow. Deep breath and...
Doodles: Is today a work day?
Me: No. It's Saturday. It's a Mommy, Daddy, Doodles, Pie day. Now, I need to go back to sleep.
Doodles: Is today a school day?
Me: Didn't we cover that? No, it's not a school day. Good night, Doodles.
Doodles: What are we going to do today?
Me: Sweetie, go ask your daddy that question. I need to sleep. If you don't want to sleep, you can go downstairs or play with your train table.
Doodles's finger immediately goes into his mouth, and he curls himself into my body, and I do indeed fall back into slumber...
...for five minutes.
Doodles: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy!
[I ignore him]
Doodles: Mommy! Mommy, I'm talking to you!
Me: Doodles, I'm ignoring you! Where does your father think you are anyway?
Doodles: Is it still Hanukkah?
Me: No, Hanukkah is over.
Doodles: I want it do Hanukkah again.
Me: We'll do it again next year.
Doodles: I want to do Hanukkah now.
Me: Go to sleep, Doodles.
Doodles: Mommy, is it a school day?
Me: Arg! No, it's not!
Three minutes of silence. What's that? Has he fallen asleep?
Doodles: Mommy. Mommy!
Me: Grumph.
Doodles: Mommy, can I wear my new shoes to lunch bunch?
Me: You don't have lunch bunch till you go back to school in two weeks. But yes, you can wear your new shoes.
Doodles: S. has shoes like me.
Me: S. is sleeping right now. I'd like to be sleeping, too. Please either be quiet or go back downstairs. I'm very, very, very tired and I really need to sleep.
Doodles: Okay.
I don't even kid myself this time. I just close my eyes and pretend I'll all by my lonesome in a hotel somewhere--anywhere--far far away.
Doodles: Mommy. Mommy!
Me: WHAT!
Doodles: Mommy, is today a school day?
Silence. Can I sleep? Ah, but only if.
Doodles: I want some milk.
Me: Go downstairs and get some, then.
Bless his little heart, he actually listened to me and hopped out of bed and headed downstairs. Adam heard him and took that as his cue to come upstairs to get Pie dressed. He popped his head into my room.
Me: He snuck his way in here.
Adam: I know. I sent him in.
Me: You did what?!?!
Adam: He threw a tantrum. He wanted to go back to bed. So I sent him to you. What was I supposed to do?
Excuse me??. "What was I supposed to do?" Let me think about all the possibilities here. There's "Sorry, your mom is sleeping." There's "Sorry, we don't negotiate with terrorists." There's "Sorry, but I can't hear anything you're saying when you're screaming." So many things! I couldn't believe that Adam willingly and knowingly sent that child to me. "What was I supposed to do?" I can't freakin' wait till the next time Doodles says to me, "But I really want to use Daddy's computer!" Let's see how well the "What was I supposed to do" line flies then!
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