A Couple of iPods to Go with Your Ming Ming

Doodles suddenly is curious about ming ming. "Mommy, can I have some ming ming?" he's been asking lately. I know that a lot of moms think that you should let an older child br*eastfeed, as he will have forgotten how to suckle and not find it a pleasurable experience, but (resisting the urge to say, "Ick"; you guys will recall that I'm not thrilled to be bfing Pie, never mind throwing a preschooler into the mix) let's just say, that's not for me. We had a bit of a conversation about how he used to have it, but doesn't anymore, but there are all sorts of things he can do that Pie doesn't or can't do yet.

Then the questions took a turn for the, well, weird.
Doodles: Mommy, when Pie stops ming ming, are your ipods going to be soft and mushy?
Me: My what?
Doodles: Your ipods.
Me: Sweetie, what's an ipod?
Doodles: Those [pointing to my chest]. Hanging down. The thing that gives Pie her ming ming.
Me: Honey, those are called br*easts.
Doodles: Well, will your br*easts become soft and mushy?
Me: Let's hope not.

Then, at the YMCA, we were sitting in the viewing section watching Adam and Pie take their swimming class, waiting for when Doodles's class starts.
Doodles: Mommy?
Me: Yes?
Doodles: Why are the girl bathing suits different?
Me: What do you mean?
Doodles: Why are girl bathing suits bigger?
Me: [trying to whisper because there are a ton of parents around] Remember when we talked about private parts and how they should be private? Girls have more private parts than boys. We can talk about this at home later.
Doodles: Oh. Do men have ipods?
Me: Remember, they're called br*easts. And we can talk about this at home.
Doodles: Oh. Do men have nipples?
Me: Sweetie, let's talk about this at home? It's best to talk about private parts at home.
Doodles: Why?
Me: Because not everyone likes to hear about private parts. We can talk about this at home.
Doodles: Okay. But do boys have nipples?

Can one of you take this one?