Don't Ask Questions You Don't Want the Answers To

We started the day with my charming son poking my stomach and declaring, "Hey, Mommy? You've got a squishy stomach!" It only improved from there...

Me: Hey Adam, didn't you say Johnny Damon wasn't the brightest guy?
Adam: Yeah.
Me: So did you see these reading ads he's doing? [I show him an ad in Runners World that has Johnny Damon in his Yankee uniform reading a biography of Ben Franklin]. He's probably not really reading a biography on Ben Franklin, huh?
Adam: [laughing] No, I would think not. He's also probably not going to be a Yankee soon.
Me: Why?
Adam: For the same reason the Sox didn't re-sign him: because he's getting old and declining and slow.
Me [to Doodles]: That's not nice! Does that mean you're going to trade me? What do you think, Doodles, do you want to trade me for a mommy who's younger and faster?
Doodles: Yes!
Adam: Tell Mommy we're looking for someone who can hit for average.
Doodles: I want a mommy who can hit for average.
Adam: And with a little bit of power, too.
Doodles: And with a little power, too. [pause, thinking] And nicer!

And all before seven in the morning...