Interview with a Three Year Old

Me: What's today?
Pie: My birthday!
Me: How are you going to celebrate?
P: With Mommy. And Daddy.
Me: Actually, Daddy has to go to work.
P: Oh. Why? Why does he have to go to work?
Me: That's how he earns a living.
P: Did Daddy go to work on Doodles birthday?
Me: Doodles birthday was on a Saturday. Today is Monday. Monday is a work day.
P: Monday's a work day?
Me: Who else will you celebrate with?
P: I don't know. I need you to tell me. Can you tell me, Mommy?
Me: Do you think you'll celebrate with Doodles?
P: Yeah. With Doodles.
Me: Where are we going this morning?
P: We're going to the... what? what? Can you tell me where we're going? Oh! Can we take Jasmine's car to the museum? When I see Jasmine can she say Happy Birthday to me?
ME: I'm sure she'll say happy birthday to you.
P: Can Jasmine come to my actual birthday?
Me: So someone else is coming today?
P: So who is it?
Me: You just said!
P: Jasmine!!
Me: And where are we going?
P: To the museum. Can we go in Jasmine's car so we can go to the museum?
Me: I'm afraid not.
P: But I want to.
Me: Her car's not big enough. Plus, we might decide to take Jasmine with us even after her daddy has to go. Do you want to go out for lunch?
P: Yeah.
Me: How old are you?
P: Six and a half.
Me: Are you sure? If you're six and a half, are you going into first grade?
P: Yes, I'm going into first grade and I'm six and a half.
Me: So you're older than Doodles? 'Cause he's only five.
P: I'm older than Doodles.
Me: How old are you really?
P: Two and a half.
Me: But today's your birthday. Let me see your fingers. How many fingers are you? Whoop! One more finger! How did you get to be three?
P: I don't know.
Me: Where did you come from?
P: Mommy's belly.
Me: What's the best thing about three.
P: I like my ownself. And I like my presents. And I want kids to come to my actual birthday.
Me: You already had a big party. Today's for us and Jasmine. What do you like to do?
P: Move, doing movement. Play with Jasmine! I like dress-up shoes.
Me: Anything else you'd like to say as a big three year old?
P: No.
Me: All done?
P: [nods]
Me: Happy Birthday, Sweetie.