From the Mouths of Babes, the Ongoing Saga

Doodles had gymnastics camp (which was a woe in and of itself, but I won't go into that now), so I had some quality Pie time. Pie loves to walk. In the morning, still in her pajamas, she'll grab my hand and pull me to the door, ordering, "Take a walk! Take a walk! Put on shoes! Take a walk!" Her favorite thing now is to push her toy stroller and doll down the street.

Quick digression: I've always avoided the girly thing with Pie, but it had gotten bad of late. Every time we walked into anyone's house--I mean anyone!--Pie would accost the woman of the house, like an addict in search of her fix: "Babydoll? Babydoll? BABYDOLL?!?" The girl was babydoll starved. And her daily notes from daycare always came back reading things such as, "Pie loved playing with the bracelets today. Pie really took care of the younger kids today. Pie enjoyed having a tea party with her friends." So for her birthday, I indulged Pie's every girl fantasy: a babydoll, a stroller, some bracelets.

Back to story: I thought Pie would be thrilled to take a long walk pushing her stroller. The neighbors across the street were game for a walk, so we decided to head down to Starbucks, which is about a mile away. Now, I knew Pie wouldn't be able to walk there and back and that if I had the stroller it would be hard to chase her and then carry back her toy stroller when I pushed her. So I had the brilliant idea of pulling the Kelty backpack out of the basement, figuring when Pie got tired, I'd stick her in it.

Um, right. The minute Pie saw that backpack, the idea of a walk was history. "Backpack! Backpack! Backpack!" she insisted. I put her in and then walked the entire mile with this 29 pound toddler on my back. Oh, yeah, it was fun.

We enjoy our Starbucks treat with our friends, we hit Walgreens for some odds and ends, say good-bye to our friends who are going their own way, and then it's back up the hill--way up the hill--home. Pie decides to ride all the way up until we get about three blocks from the house, where the walking is flat and easy. Then she demands, "Run!"

My shoulders are killing me at this point, so I'm thrilled to get her out. I give her a big smooch and set her on the ground. She takes off flying, one step... two steps... face plant!!! It was a really nasty fall and I could hear it and I ran to her as she wailed. A woman sitting inside her house saw the whole thing and ran out to offer us ice, which we took.

Pie quieted down. She took her ice. And then we walked home, stopping every three feet to pick at a tree, pull a leaf off a bush, or hunt for an ant.

That night, Adam came home. Pie has a large scrape across the front of her nose. It's very noticeable and a little pitiable looking. Adam immediately picked Pie up to smooch her scrape.

Adam croons to her, "Sweetie Pie! What happened?"

Pie puts on her sad face, and says with a pout, "I fell!"

Adam piles on the sympathy, and giving her more smooches, says, "Oh, I see that! That's quite a scrape! How did you fall?"

Pie gives a little moue as she loudly declares, "Mommy pushed me!"

When DSS comes a callin', you'll all know why...